Alaska Pro/Con List

I’ve been thinking about moving to Alaska for a few weeks now, in fact I posted about it just last week. But it’s still on my mind so I decided to make a pro/con list for real, (it turned out to be more of a devil’s advocate type list) and I thought I’d share my thoughts since my last post wasn’t really that explanatory, so think of this as a follow up.



There is a lot of beautiful scenery. There will be insanely harsh winters.
I will get to see bears and eagles and caribou and moose up close and take really kick-ass photos of them. I might get eaten by a bear or trampled by a moose, also the dogs have a pretty high chance of getting eaten by bears even in their kennel. Also I know my fatosaurus would try to eat an eagle and then get eaten by said eagle.
We would get to see lots of beautiful places that we probably wouldn’t get to see if we just visit Alaska. It will be very difficult, not to mention expensive, to travel outside of Alaska.
Extremely long nights in the winter, might lead to depression and/or cabin fever. I will probably get to fulfill my lifelong dream of seeing (and photographing) the northern lights.
I will get to pump my own gas and not have to talk to some dude every single time. I will have to pump my own gas in sub-zero temperatures.
Alaska will pay you to live there. It is roughly $1,000 per person per year. Plus there is no state income tax. It is extremely expensive to live there, everything costs more because they have to ship it to Alaska. Plus there are local sales taxes, nothing statewide so they are low, but after Oregon it will take some getting used to again.
Les’s asshole of a brother (previously referred to as his jackass of a brother, but recent circumstances have made me realize he’s more than that) is not very likely to follow us to Alaska like he followed us to NY and WA. I don’t really have a con for this one, so … I don’t know … Yetis? Do Yetis live in Alaska?
It would be a wonderful experience to live in a true frontier, probably the only true frontier I would ever have the opportunity to live in since there aren’t really that many left on earth. It’s a true frontier because it’s not really suitable for human habitation (much like Vernal, Utah) and I worry that I would get there and hate it (much like Vernal, Utah).
Alaska offers lots of recreational activities like hiking, fishing, and hunting. I don’t pee outside, I don’t like salmon, and I don’t kill animals (I’ll eat them, but someone else has to do the killing and whatnot).
One of the things I missed the most when we lived in New York was wide open spaces, Alaska has an abundance of wide open spaces and clean mountain air. In those wide open spaces the likelihood of getting attacked by a bear (or getting frostbite or something) and dying is very high.
Les would be writing again, he misses writing and he’s good at it, I would like to see him involved in a community and passionate about his job again. I probably won’t be able to find a job, at least not a good job, very quickly (if at all).
We would be at least 3,000 miles from all the people who annoy us and piss us off. We would be at least 3,000 miles away from the people we like too.
Living in Alaska requires owning a gun to scare away bears and other adorable but deadly critters. So when we tell people our opinion on responsible gun control laws we would be speaking as responsible gun owners. We would have to own a gun, and possibly scare adorable critters. I don’t like either of those things.
We would get to live in FUCKING ALASKA! We would have to live in FUCKING ALASKA!


We carefully considered all of these (and many more, this is not a decision we’ve made lightly) and it looks like, at this point, we are not going to move to Alaska. And what it comes down into it, the job Les was offered just didn’t offer enough to make the move worth it,they could still come back with more money, but I kind of doubt that will happen. In a way I’m a little relieved that the decision was basically made for us, but I am also a little disappointed that we aren’t going on such a grand adventure.

On the plus side we are now planning our 10-year anniversary trip to San Francisco and my birthday trip to Crater Lake, without the worry of a move hanging over our heads.


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